My Favorite New York Places

Though I've only been four times (it seems like so much more) I certainly have some places that mean a lot to me for various reasons. I could probably go on and on, but I'm limiting this little mini series to my top five. Enjoy!

Me & NYC

I don't really remember when my love affair with New York started. Trust me over the last few days I have been racking my brain trying to figure it out. First I thought it might have been when I saw One Fine Day, and that certainly is a possibility, but I think it was a bit earlier than that and currently I am choosing to blame the Babysitters Club.

The book series, which I LOVED growing up, was set in Connecticut, but one character was from New York. In one of the "super specials" the girls all go to New York. I'm pretty sure this is when I fell in love. Or at least it's the earliest memory I can think of. I remember them talking about the Dakota and Rockefeller Center and FAO Schwartz, among others. There was just something magical about this big city.

I grew up in a relatively small town and personally grew up on 120 acres in the middle of nowhere. Needless to say I relied on books and my vivid imagination for entertainment. When I was 18 I moved to my college town (around 100,000 people) and was in heaven. No longer did I have to go pick up a pizza and then drive thirty minutes home...they delivered to me! Yes I realize how silly that sounds, but it is the small things in life. I instantly transformed from country girl (which never really fit my personality) to city girl. I love where I live, don't get me wrong, but there has always been something missing.

I spent my twenties rushing and waiting. I was rushing to catch up with the MWCs (married with children) by doing what I could to keep up: buying a house, getting a dog, joining the right clubs. Then I would wait on my Prince Charming to show up. I thought I had one snagged for awhile, but turned out to be a monumental disaster. He was fine and I was fine, but together we were NOT fine. I had "husband" on my checklist. I tried to make him into what I wanted him to be and if you've ever done that you know that it doesn't work at all. When that relationship ended I felt like I was thrown back to the starting gate. Single and 27, almost 28. I then started my Masters, which I will wrap up next spring. I'm very proud of this accomplishment and what I plan to do with it.

I am involved with an amazing organization, Junior League, and go to an amazing church. I want to start an amazing non profit and have high hopes for JL and church. I want to sit on the JL board and do a million other things in this town. Recently I have realized that I am trying to fill my life with all of these other things while I "wait" on my life (ie. husband and children) to start. I'm tired of rushing and waiting. I feel like I have all these goals on some checklist in my brain and I have to do them as quickly as possible. I don't. I feel like to matter around here I have to get married and have kids. I don't.

Throughout my undergrad I always wanted to move to New York, for one reason or another. Usually that reason involved moving far, far away from all my couple friends (because let me tell you, all my friends have been in a relationship since they came out of the womb it seems like). I wanted an escape from my reality because I didn't like my reality. Then something would come up and I would chicken out. Things would get better and I would change my mind. Or I didn't want to miss out on things, kids graduating, proms, football, and I wouldn't go.

So here I was stuck between a rock and a hard place: escaping versus missing out on things. I think after the last ten years of wishing I had gone I have finally grown up enough to realize that I can only take care of me and I can only please me and I can only make myself happy. I don't need to be at every single event for every child in my life. That's what cameras are for. People will not forget about me, that's what facebook, twitter and webcams are for.

I truly feel that what is best for me is to have an adventure, completely on my own. I need to explore the city on my own and be completely independent for the first time in my life.

Every time I visit New York as soon as I cross into Manhattan I feel like I'm home. When I am in the car driving back to the airport I feel like I am leaving a piece of myself and cannot wait to get back. Most people get to the end of a vacation and are ready to be home. Not me when it comes to New York. I got snowed in at Christmas last year, with bronchitis, and let me tell you how much I hate snow. I LOVED it there. I got to be a part of history! It was the worst snow storm in years and I was there. I find myself knowing about things happening in NYC and wanting to be there. I watch the Tonys and want to see all the shows. I see concerts that are happening in the park and I want to go. I see restaurants that are being featured on television and I want to try them.

I do have the worry that I have this vision of living in New York and that there is no way the reality can live up to it. I am fully aware of that. I know that it will be hard not having my support system there, but I make friends pretty easily and can adapt to wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. I will be trading in a 2000 square foot house with a pool and half an acre on a cul de saq for a tiny apartment. I won't be able to drive to release stress (but I also won't have to pay for gas!). There are a lot of things that will be different, but if I don't go after this one particular dream I know I will forever regret it. This is the one thing in my life that I have to do.

Tweets that Speak

Here are some of the tweets that I have retweeted in the last twenty-four hours. Hmmm...

Today - Something good is always coming around the corner but if you are too busy looking for something bad you may be distracted & miss it!

Your destiny is just waiting for you to SHOW UP.

A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. -Margaret Mead

There is never a need to rush anything, if it’s meant to be, it will just happen!

Following all the rules leaves a completed checklist. Following your heart achieves a completed YOU.

Today: Your struggles & victories give others the courage to win their own battles. Don't hide them.

Sometimes in life you have to go against everything you thought you knew to receive everything that’s meant for you.

Obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals. - Henry Ford

I don't want to get to the end of my life & find I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. -Diane Ackerman

There's scrutiny in being less fearful. That's a hard lesson to learn.

To achieve anything great, you have to be willing to not just MAKE your own rules, but to also BREAK your own rules.

Signs

I'm a big believer in signs. Here is what we've had so far:

...an interesting turn of events today that I would rather not publish online
...a total change in my internship for grad school
...came home to watch Sweet Home Alabama, but couldn't find it and turned on Sex and the City on E! instead, it was my favorite single girl episode: A Woman's Right to Shoes
...after SATC I found When Harry Met Sally on, which is another of my favorite NYC movies

I'm sure there will be more, but so far that's what we've got (for twenty-four hours I would say that's not too shabby).

New York, Please...

Two days ago I turned thirty. Apparently that made me completely lose my mind. Monday night I was writing on my blog about turning thirty and what it meant to me. Basically I have a very positive attitude about it. My twenties did not end up being what I wanted them to be (college degree, marriage, babies, all done by thirty) so I am going to turn my thirties into the most amazing decade. If you want to read all my thoughts you can click here and see what I had to say.

One thing I wrote in that post was that I might live in NYC for awhile. When I was an undergrad I really wanted to move to New York. (I'll get to the background of NYC and me later.) At my birthday dinner my friends and I were talking and the subject of moving to New York came up. That night I was talking about moving for a month. I would use the extra money I get when I quit my job (more on that later too) and spend a month long vacation in New York. Completely doable.

The next day I was settled that a month in New York was going to be perfect. I had tons of friends that had already said they wanted to come visit. I came home and watched Sex and the City the movie, which I have a personal connection to (you got it, more later). I tweeted and posted on facebook: no. 1 thing that is bad to watch when you are contemplating moving to NYC: #sexandthecitythemovie

Very soon I got a tweet from a girl that used to be in musicals that I helped with from my home town, who is about to start her freshman year of college that she would be my roommate. I explained that it wouldn't be a permanent move, just a month or two (look, we've added a month already...). My friend Whitney, who moved to NYC when we were sophomores in college tweeted me asking if I was serious. I emailed her my little plan.

On the facebook front I received this comment from my best friend from home:
"You would love living in the city"
then a couple of hours later she said this:
"Not to play devils advocate here but we both know you won't ever be happy if you font give NYC a try... So here is what you do. You put your house on the market and if it sells there is your answer. Pack your bags and go apt hunting :)"
the other high school best friend chimed in with:
"I can so see you in the city! I agree with Crystal. You have always been great at trying new things."

I then chatted with Crystal for awhile and she said six months at least. Somehow this turned into a year.

So we sit here at going for a year. Of course there are several things that have to happen before this can happen. Luckily I am locked into grad school until May, so I have some time to get things sorted out. I have a Masters to finish, some debt to pay off, and a house to sell. I would have to arrange for someone to rent my house (because I am planning to come back), take care of my dog(s), and probably sell my car.

Prior to turning thirty I had a plan: become vested at my job (March), graduate (May), quit my job (September), and start an amazing non profit. I want to be on the Board of Directors for Junior League of Norman, I want to participate in Leadership Norman, I want to do a lot of things here, but I don't have to do any of these things NOW. There is nothing that I can't wait. Besides a few loose ends I really have nothing truly holding me back from this. I am not married and don't have kids, so this is the time to do it, if I want to ever do it, because those things tend to make having amazing adventures a little bit harder.

I have several friends in NYC and several scattered along the east coast, if I was to get homesick. I can transfer my membership to the Junior League of the City of New York if I want to, which would keep me active with JL.

There is no reason I cannot put off changing the world and making other people's dreams come true for a year to make my own dreams come true. It may not be the glamorous world of Sex and the City, but it would be a chance to explore a city that I love and be truly on my own for a little while in my life.

It would only be a year, and you can follow my preparations and journey right here...